Published, and On a Shelf at the Library (not)

Not Even Digitally

When I was a young girl, I befriended an elderly gentleman named Walt who operated a bookstore in an old, run-down building, where he also lived, in a tiny upstairs apartment. It was one of my favorite places to loiter. If I arrived too early, and I often did, I could politely knock on the door, and he would let me in while he prepared for a day of sales. It was a primo literary gettin’ spot. Walt would trade books, any books, two for one. I had a sort of lay-away situation going on as I placed modest stacks in reserve, along with some that he saved back for me. Walt knew what I liked.

I would sweep the floor and straighten yellowing, dog-eared paperbacks piled willy-nilly on crooked, groaning shelves. I would water spindly plants, play with the threadbare ginger shop-cat, and peruse the aisles forever, or at least until I was ready to go do something else.

I didn't have much (or usually any) spending cash, but when I did, I would save every penny for my layaway, and for the fancier books that he kept on the shelf behind the checkout counter. I knew that these were his most valuable offerings, and I didn't expect to get them for free or to be able to afford them. He still let me look.

Walt did, however, give me several sets of free, outdated encyclopedias. He watched, grinning, as I sat on the green wooden chair in the corner, carefully turning the black and white pages, inhaling the fascinating facts, figures, and photographs on every page, and then offering to return them to be sold. He chuckled, assuring me that no one wanted those dusty old books but me. They ended up in alphabetized stacks along the walls of my bedroom.

I simply could not believe my luck. Each lettered volume was dear to me, full of pictures of the places that I longed to go, when I grew up. My roots and my heart were dyed in the wool striped stockings and red braids Pippi Longstocking. I fully expected to sail the high seas with only a monkey and a horse for company. If she could do it, I could do it. I was a tough, scrappy little filly. The maps were all there, in those second-hand books. I could be anyone, see anyone, do anything, go anywhere inside of the pages of those books. Walt, and my library card, opened the door to my lifelong love of learning and fed my ravenous curiosity about the world beyond my back yard.

I was a big fan of the "Choose Your Own Adventure" series. I know for sure that not one of these books were ever sold from his shop until I had read it first. Written in second person, this series offered the reader a chance to alternate a series of possible endings through choices made as he or she progressed through each book.

In one of the early titles, "Journey Under the Sea", the author, R. A. Montgomery, takes the reader on an undersea adventure in search of the lost city of Atlantis. During an exploration of the depths of the ocean in search of this famed but elusive ancient metropolis, the reader has the chance to narrowly escape giant squid and shark attacks, uncover shipwrecks, help the merpeople rebel against a cruel monarchy, keep themselves from being thrown in the hoosegow, and more, all by deciding which page to turn to next.

You read until you come to a decision point, which prompts you to flip to another page, either backward or forward. Every move alters the ending of the story. The early books in the series, which began in 1979, have dozens of alternate endings, reached through branching storylines that twist and turn back upon themselves, keeping you in a constant state of suspense.

No matter how many fingers you stuck into the book to keep an eye on your origin point, you could not predict your path, nor the outcome. You might somehow arrive back at a familiar fork in the road, but things have gotten more complicated since your last visit, which affects your choices, and your adventure. I loved these books, and so many more. I wished on every blown dried dandelion blossom to see a book on a bookstore or library shelf with MY name on it, as the author, and possibly the illustrator.

In the summer of 2021, I completed my sketchbook entry for The Brooklyn Art Library’s “The Sketchbook Project”, a global art project that anyone can be part of. The Sketchbook Project is a collection of over 60,000 sketchbooks from 30,000 people. It has been listed as the largest collection of sketchbooks in the world over the past 15 years.

My entry was based on the writing prompt, “Change the Ending.” It was titled “Desert Rose: The Birth of a Nomad.” While writing this, the short-story of the evolution from bed life with chronic illnesses to my road living experience, plus the joy of meeting Dan (and Layla) and continuing road life, in tandem, I had a realization. As navigator, I was the basically the director of our very own “Choose Your Own Adventure” story! Dan doesn’t care where we go, so most of the route planning has been left to my own imagination. I looked forward to sharing a bit of our ongoing adventure story with the world.

The creation of this handmade book was fraught with supply delays and over glued stuck page mishaps. Still, it was postmarked to make it on time for inclusion in Volume 18. It was also scheduled to be digitized and saved forever tangled in the strands of the World Wide Web.

We were camping back and forth between Caballo Lake and Elephant Butte State Parks in New Mexico while I was in the throes of its creation.

The Pony Express is in charge of mail in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, just like it is in Quartzsite. I was ecstatic to arrive at the post office with finished product in hand in mid-August, and may have unhinged the post office sign, jumping up and down with relief and excitement.

On February 9th, 2022, The Brooklyn Art Library closed its physical home of over a decade due to the pandemic. An announcement was made that the sketchbooks would be moved to various curated locations throughout the country, allowing more people to see them through their expanded mobile component. Museums, libraries, and community centers were targeted as places where they would be displayed. The plan was to tailor the choice of offerings to the needs and interests of the communities where the loaned sketchbooks would reside.

Unfortunately, the moving trailer transporting the sketchbooks caught fire en route from Brooklyn to St, Petersburg, Florida, the location of a new home for the collection. Many of the sketchbooks suffered damage, but no one was hurt in the blaze. 70% of the Sketchbook Project’s books were salvaged, but some 7,000 books and various supplies were lost. On March 15th, 2022, Steven Peterman, Organizer, announced that their GoFundMe goal of $50,000 had been met, topping out at $58,575. The project has plans to continue.

While I am devastated that this tragedy occurred, I am also saddened by the fact that my entry was somehow “lost in the mail.” Every attempt (pre-fire) to find out why my book was still listed as “not yet returned” on their website, instead of “currently being digitized” as noted in early email correspondence were met with zero response. I am not sure what happened, and I haven’t been able to locate the receipt for postage with the tracking number. I am sure I tossed it when I got the initial email that it had been received. In any case, the VERY FIRST book I created for publication was either lost to a rural mail service snafu or has become cinders.

My plan, in creating the sketchbook, was to get my name out there and hopefully generate interest in my story. Like the “Choose Your Own Adventure” series, life offers up a variety of endings of any story. Even when you are sure you have made the correct choice and turned to the right page, forces out of your control can direct your spaceship (or its navigator’s log) to land on a different planet located in a galaxy far, far away.

I have confirmed my contact information and mailing address in case my sketchbook is found in salvageable condition. I have asked that it remain in the collection, if at all possible, if it happens to make it back from its ride on the rings of Saturn.

In the meantime, I will “choose my own adventure” and pursue my dream of seeing my words, photography, and artwork in hold-in-your-hand book(s) at some point, moving forward. Until then, thank you for reading my words on your hold-in-your-hand communications device, or your laptop communications console. I am infinitely grateful for each of you!

Yes, we miss the freewheelin’ road-life, and each of the New Mexico State Parks campgrounds we visited, especially the South Monticello Campground in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.

Blessings and love from our current sandy little pin-dot,

~Brenda Cordray

“The Desert Rose”

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